Little Victories Vol. 4

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Things are pretty busy around where I work at the moment. We’ve hit our peak time, and it’s been hard to stay caught up each day. Some things had to be put aside in order for me to survive the past few weeks. I’m hoping things will slow down as we near the holiday season, so I can focus on getting the extra stuff done in the day. I have been running on fumes from the piles of things I had to do outside of work. Last night was the first night in over a month that allowed me to get home before 9 pm. Stress and anxiety caught up with me this week, and I almost broke down. I wanted to give up everything that had been keeping me up so late at night, the papers that required writing and reading, the events that wouldn’t end on time, the duties around the house, all of the obligations that kept me away from my family.

All of this is to say that I didn’t have a lot of time to read and de-compress. Last week, I had kept to a schedule, but as soon as Monday came this week, I was dead on my feet and all of my drive to “be something” left me. I had to push myself into survival mode, to make it to the end of the week. I shut down emotions and shifted my priorities to focus only on tasks. And that is how my schedule has been: wake up, work, event, work, bed—5 am-12 am each day.

Next week begins the last month of this kind of schedule. I will have survived four months of literally running from one meeting to the next, the 3:30 am alarms, the phone reminders that I should have gone to bed before 12 am so I could receive more than two hours of sleep, the anxiety that woke me up even earlier, and the depression that I constantly fought to keep from slipping.

I’m so close, and that’s my victory.

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4 thoughts on “Little Victories Vol. 4

  1. It sounds like you’re horribly overworked. Stress and lack of sleep are very bad for you. Maybe once you slow down, you should think about changing jobs unless this one is paying you loads. Good luck surviving, and Happy Halloween!

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  2. That feeling of merely surviving is horrible. I’ve had a few months like that too and I can vouch for the horrible feelings of anxiety and stress that accompany it. But there’s light at the end of the tunnel my lovely! You’re almost there! Keep trying to find time for self care and keep reminding yourself that you’re close to the finish line. You’ve got this ❤

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  3. You can do this! Keep running and keep your vision on the other end of the tunnel. I’m right on the verge of exiting my tunnel, and I can’t wait. I can smell the fresh air and feel the breeze on my face. We can survive this, eh? Here’s wishing you extra sanity in place of sleep.

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