I’ve wondered lately if I’m a good person. I’ll say it to myself. I’ll let it marinate.
Sometimes I contemplate it so hard, that I lose track of time.
Hours go by for me without one word uttered. It blurs me in and out.
I never discover the answer. My mind never commits one way or another.
Today, I started feeling the familiar twinge of a migraine.
Light sensitivity, nausea, searing pain, intense fatigue.
It’s one of the many symptoms of this mental illness circling inside me.
It is the curse of thought, self-doubt, and a deep unrest within me.
Am I a saint or a devil? An angel or a demon? Good or evil?
The middle ground has disintegrated around me.
I can only replenish the sadness.
I can’t eradicate it.
I can only chip away at how much I care.